It's been a while since I felt the need to share what's going on with me. Not that there isn't anything to share, every week has had at least one highlight, but it's more that I just didn't feel the urge to. I've been writing consistently in my journals, I've been going to smash tournaments, I got approved for a credit card and opened up a savings account. I've had some thoughts, I guess, but nothing worth really blogging about. I don't even know what I feel like saying now!
My classes at UCB have been going really well. It's awesome to be among people that are taking 101 with me and are also better than me at sketch or improv. I know I'm improving at both, too, as well as gaining tools I can use for blah blah blah. I sound like a fuckin' mouth piece for the most successful comedy school in NYC. They don't need the publicity. Just know it's pretty damn cool.
I've found myself going to about one melee tournament a week, and they've been fairly successful. I honestly just love it so much as a hobby, and I've spent so much time on it over the years that I think I can plateau a bit without feeling like a failure. I don't know if I lost the competitive drive, really, just that I stopped having the necessity to practice like I did in the past. If there's a big event though, I'll try to start making moves to get in some games.
And that's really all I have to report. Work is going fine too, I guess I can slip that in there. It's interesting to think about all the things I want to say but I'll ultimately regret. Plans and aspirations and projects and the future. I want to talk about the path I'm on and place good judgement on it. But that's the future and it's impossible to predict. But everybody always talks about it as if it can be conjured into reality. I think for some people that works, like you envision what you want to become and through that positive thinking you take the right steps to achieve it. But more often than not a person will miss the mark, or change their mind on what they wanted to do from their twenties, or have opportunities that come up that change their life forever, or they have a kid. And I know I'm just a 22 year old making these broad assumptions on human behavior, but that's what I've been surrounded by since I was a kid. Things change.
So even though I might not be the best person to figure out our obsession with the future, I think people my age are the most important people to ask the question. What's the best way to envision our future? How do we maintain forward thinking while still being flexible to the ephemeral chaos of the world?
I suggest we take apart the value of "Past, present, and future" as a blueprint for decisions. We should replace the future with "Ideal." Perfection. Ultimate truth. Socrates says that the concept of truth is elusive and impossible, yet we must always move towards it. I think that is much more valuable than envisioning a specific job or house. What is the truth that you need to move towards?
It's a strange thought, and honestly I don't even know what it means. To stop looking towards the future is to forego simple things like laundry or painting your room. Our entire society's existence is contingent on the idea of preservation and self-awareness of death. I think what I'm getting at is when people have goals they often craft up a perfect version of themselves at the end of the tunnel, five or ten years down the line living in a sweet house with a fulfilled life and all that shit.
All I'm saying is that there's no such thing as the "Perfect self." That's an oxymoron by definition, the self is implicitly imperfect. But that doesn't mean you should strive for imperfection. Just understand the ultimate goal, the surreal understanding of what you want to be. There is no such thing as a "Perfect Comedian" at all, but Socrates would say it still exists. And you know what I always say about Socrates.
That motherfucker smart as shit!
No comments:
Post a Comment