Giving a Truth Tour

I have no idea what it really takes to be a comedian. One of my short term goals is to build up the courage to write "Comedian" on my Facebook page, a change so massive that it must be put off for as long as possible.

But I'm not even trying to tackle the logistic side of making money or getting jobs off of comedy. It would be entirely derivative of what I've heard actual comedians talk about. The only thing I have is my own experience and my recent feelings. And this blog. And a Nintendo Switch.

I'm so attracted to comedy because I love being able to live inside of truth. Not only that, but I get to to control exactly how much a person knows about me, with almost no limitations or bounds besides the prerequisite of being funny. 

I'm thinking now of a persons truth being a house. When a show is put on, the audience comes by and wants to see what's going on with the property. You get to choose how that tour is going to go. Some comedians like to bring people into their house and show them all the crazy shit going on, like a sink that's been broken since childhood or a living room they can't stop peeing in. Some comedians go the other way and just show all the cool bugs hanging on the yard. Some might even build hedges so you can't even peek through the window.

It doesn't matter what you do, you just need people to leave saying "Hey, that was a really cool house."

I don't really struggle with this concept, I'm more just at a stalemate. I have done shows where I got to speak publicly on my problems and what's hurting me, and when I got off stage I felt like I really found what I needed to do. I let strangers in through the front door and they hugged me on the way out. It really was a beautiful time, even though the act was fairly bad by most people's standards.


 There's no other way for me to pursue this than finding my truth and speaking to it as much as possible. Way easier said than done. It's also easier said than understood! What does finding your truth even mean? You can show people your home, but how solid is the bedrock? How do the pipes and outlets work? Why do you have a huge forest in your backyard, and why are you just ignoring all the coyotes? It may be fun to let people in for a tour, but when they leave you still gotta stay. Is it really that great having a funny leak in the bathroom? Or is it worth the time to fix it? Is my goal to entertain or to build myself a healthy fuckin environment? Are you still following this metaphor?


Openness is an incredibly scary thing, no doubt. But it's the biggest reason I want to be a stand-up. It's also the biggest reason I write this blog, as a way to express and connect. I'm letting people into an intimate space, rooms they can judge and decorations they can hate. But if, at the end of the truth tour, somebody is smiling? That's the whole reason I do it.