Learning From Your Parents

Growing up I was taught two philosophies. The first, from my father, could be easily bottled up into a phrase. "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." He's a singer/songwriter, and if you ever get the chance to her him sing Rattlin' Bog then I recommend it. He would use this expression all the time. Nice ring to it, huh? You might have heard it before. Probably not as much as me, but I'm happy that it's been drilled into my head. Sometimes I get guided a bit more by the 'never work' portion more than the 'do what you love' bit, but we all have our perceptions.

The second philosophy, from my mother, was a little harder to pin down. She did, however, lead by example. She has had an interesting string of careers that have done a whole lot for our family and for that I will always be grateful. She brought home not only a paycheck, but those sweet sweet benefits baby. She also did not do what she loved. My mother doesn't hate her jobs, by any means, but if there was a San Junipero in real life, I doubt she would be managing a utilities warehouse in all the different decades.

If I had to bottle up her lessons, it would be "Don't end up like your father." A harsh sentence for me to even write, but it's so, so true. And don't worry, I'm posting this on facebook but definitely blocking my parents. They'll be held over from yesterday's post.

I'm very much like my parents. I see it everyday. I think we all start seeing it at some point, no? Some people fight it, maybe by moving out early or working at a smoke shop at 17 or dating a 34 year old biker who's actually gay but there's nothing wrong with that. It's a scary thing when I get angry and act exactly like my father. Even worse, when I get angry and act exactly like my mother. I've seen my parents' flaws so now it shocks me when I have them too. I do have an advantage that neither of them had at my age. I journal like a motherfuckin' mad dawg, yo. Workin out those feelings like hey now.

I want to grow up and be like both my parents. I want to be an artist and dream of a holy land where work is a constant wrestle with the intangible genius, an endless cycle of desperately wringing a cloth to capture an ounce of water. I also want to be able to get myself there. I want to be able to have a family. And if that means I drudge through the monotony of nine to five, fueled by my life's purpose waiting for me at home, then I guess that'll do too. Right now I can forge a path where both of those things are possible.

What's so amazing about my parents is that they both got me to where I am today. They are absolutely incredible parents for a young comedian. My father has been present in my life even after moving out, keeping interest in my new endeavors and projects, always pushing me up and looking out for my improvement. My mother has kept me firmly in the present, helping me time after time with important paperwork and obligations while giving me a great perspective on work ethic. Her decision to keep me around for a few years in the (new and cool) basement allows me to establish a routine and incubate as an artist (I call it the incu-basement). They're also good comedian's parents because their relationship is so fucked up. It helped me get some good material when starting out.

My parents gave me two tools for a fulfilled life. Do what you love, get the work done. Those lessons will stick with me forever. Also on the list, live with somebody before you marry them. Or don't get married. Maybe have just two kids? Live somewhere warmer? Maybe I'm just fighting against being just like my parents. Maybe it's time to do less of that.