Nothing like a rainy day to start typing whatever comes to my head. I got the gunk out with the last post, now I get to actually figure out what I'm thinking.
Scratch that, I never know what I'm thinking.
I know what I'm looking at, though. I'm enjoying a rare opportunity to hang with my Sister, her husband, and their baby. They live Australia if you believe that. Even if you don't believe that, they still live there. They are here for a month, and it's nice to see my nephew.
Back to ME. I need to focus on production. I say this over and over again... that's just the stage that I'm at. I have scattered knowledge and experience on how to make videos, but pulling it all together seems insurmountable. You know those rock climbing walls with colored handles jutting out all over the place? Right now production feels like one of those walls without any color. The moves and options all blend into the background, and once I set off there's no telling if I made the right decision. It's scary, frustrating, and in all honestly a little bit dull.
The amount of leg work that goes into this documentary, for example (yes it's still being made) feels more like exercise than fulfilling creative expression. I wouldn't mind if I had the time to do it. This is where I could launch into complaints, but I know that I'm in a good spot so I won't...yet.
A couple months ago I wrote that I was in a transition phase, and now that phase is just about over. There might be some changes in the next few weeks (crossing fingers for a raise, don't share this with coworkers) but all in all this is a period for biding time and developing habits. Footnote: My father just read that and got so excited he's doing jumping jacks in his chair. Stand up dad, they get easier that way.
This mentality is the only one I can stick to right now. I feel that a lot of my creative oriented peers feel the pressure to make moves and take risks, not realizing how much time they actually have. My biggest fear right now isn't that I'm going to miss my chance, it's that I'm going to get antsy and start sprinting when I'm miles from the goal. Slow and steady wins the race is what I'm trying to say. With that philosophy, the best thing I can do right now is to get my steady to be pretty damn fast. Does that make any sense?
Let me break it down the way I think of it, like a video game. Let's say you're playing a game where your character starts at level 1 and you get stronger and stronger as time goes on. You play a bit, then hit level 2. Ding! Gratz. Now you are presented with a choice. You can choose +1 to all your stats, or you can skip that boost so that future level ups will be +2. You might be down one, but when you hit level 3 (ding gratz) you now catch up to the point you would have been. I've lost the older crowd, but really try to follow this. This is seriously how my mind thinks.
Also, Mom and Dad, you were complicit in my World of Warcraft days. You are 100% to blame. Thank you.
Right now I'm trying to make decisions that will allow me to improve faster. To put it in realistic terms, it's the habit building I mentioned before. If you really want a better picture, watch the video on Terry Cruise's day to day schedule. He wakes up at 4:30, works out intensely, takes a whole arsenal of supplements, and by the time 8am comes around he is ready to tackle the day. Now, I'm not saying that I need to copy this standard of living, but you can't try and tell me there's a healthier schedule than that. That is the shining beacon of "productive creativity".
So that's where I land. I can't see any sort of "big break" on the horizon, nor am I looking for one. I just gotta keep chugging along, making steady improvements and leveling up. There's no way to fail this way, right? Man I'm afraid of failing. But that's for a different post.
Another long one, thanks for reading. Also, if you are looking to collaborate with anything production related give me a call.
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