The ol' introduction post has two parts! Hold the excitement, hold the applause.
Usually, people will begin with saying their name, then go on to hobbies, goals, favorite blanks, then a silly anecdote or some shit, and then finally end it nicely by wrapping it up with a clever conclusion and a cute reference to their quirky day's plans. I'm gonna do exactly that.
My name is Jesse Donald Gardner. All throughout grades K-12 I went by Jesse, but when I got to college I decided to change things up a little bit. I was told once by my father that he thought J.D Gardner was a great baseball name, so that had some light influence as to my first and middle names. I turned out to be a painfully average baseball player, but I still liked the sound of that name. When I had my first day at Oneonta, I started introducing myself as J.D. Strangely enough, people started calling me that. Turns out, when you tell people to call you something, they will call you that. No background checks or investigations, just pure trust. I always thought when criminals fled to a new state and changed their names it was a long and complicated process. Turns out they just fuckin' lie.
So people started calling me J.D in school, and I felt that I was reborn into this new college identity. I made friends, I joined a fraternity, and just like that a solid amount of people knew my name. The problem is, my family and friends from home still call me Jesse. So I have two names.
BUT that's not all! I also am heavily invested in the Super Smash Bros Melee competitive community, where I am required by tradition to pick a pseudo-name or gamertag to use for tournaments. For this I chose the name Poonslayer7. I have had this name for two years. Some people in the community know me exclusively as Poonslayer. Those to whom i am more closely acquainted simply call me Poon. I like the name. But now I have three.
There you have it, three boring paragraphs on what people call me. If you met me as a certain name, don't feel the need to change what you call me. Unless you plan on calling me Poonslayer, which would be hysterical for my uncle or something to start doing. Just don't forget the 7, dick.
The smash bros scene might very well be the most important thing in my life right now, as strange as that is to say. I work harder at that than any other endeavor in my life. My current training regime is two hours a day, plus 8 minutes of stretching and any other time playing with other people. Melee is just that good, it's so difficult and strenuous, fun yet aggravating, physical and mentally difficult. It brings people together and has lead me to become close with two people I would call my best friends. If i could chose any career path, then this game would become involved. Maybe not as an elite player, but if i could be some sort of creative within the community then I wouldn't work a day in my life. That's how much i love this game.
I currently have a girlfriend, and she is pretty cool. We have similar senses of humor and taste in music, plus she tolerates my jokes and hobbies, so we get along just fine. Not much else to say about her. I hope she never reads this.
I am an inconsistent performer of stand up comedy, maybe on average twice a month I'll go on stage and try some stuff out. I love writing jokes and performing them in my head, but for whatever reason I can't nail it when I'm onstage. I've had some decent sets, but I am 100% an amateur comedian. I hope to get better, or at least find my calling with writing. Who knows, man.
I've also found a hobby in improvisational rap, as well as writing rap, and rapping. I discovered the hobby among friends who get wasted and make rap circles. I was always too afraid to step in, and for years i stayed on the sideline. One day I decided to try it alone in my car, and when the words began to flow i fell in love. Freestyling is an awesome exercise for the mind and mouth, and i recommend it to anybody pursuing a passion in writing or performing. Hip Hop is an amazing genre, and I hope to keep it with me for days to come. Expect some sort of song coming soon, I have a plethora of notes tucked away.
Here's the anecdote. Yesterday I was walking around my mall after work playing Pokemon Go and I caught a Machoke. I looked up and saw a couple of dudes standing around talking, one of them wearing a team mystic shirt. I go "yo, I just found a Machoke" and their eyes lit up. They started stammering, looking at each other, and pulling out their phones like a sheriff in a duel. Us trainers stick together, huh?
Anyway, that's all I got. I'm gonna walk home now, make a protein shake, practice my smash and do my daily chores. How exciting. I'll check back in tomorrow.
Words I learned to spell: Strangely, acquainted, aggravating, amateur
First try: endeavor, strenuous, improvisational
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