Middle School

*Written Wednesday, 7/27, at my girlfriend's house. She bothered my while I wrote this*

15. Middle school. Oooohhh god.

It's a universally hate time of our lives, but going in to It we had no idea what to expect. We were ignorant. Some of us were even excited. Then we started the most awkward stage of our lives.

I don't think my experience was different than many others'. I was a quiet kid with a small group of friends and childlike hobbies. I liked video games, but not the 'cool' games like Call of Duty and Halo. I liked sports, but wasn't very good at them, missing the cut for the team in 7th grade for both soccer and lacrosse. I got good grades, which was even further a detriment to my popularity.

Popularity is a strange concept. It's important to essentially every child from ages 9-16. In the media it's always shown as unimportant and overrated, but ask any middle schooler and they'll disagree. People say they don't care, but I'm sure 90% of adults under 35 could recite the entire popular clique in their school. It's insane how much we valued being liked.

Middle school is when these feelings were at its peak. Everyone was coming into their sexuality, but some matured faster than others. The kids with the biggest boobs and biggest muscles took their place on the top of the ladder. This lay the foundation for the social hierarchy that would carry into high school.

Popularity had a paradoxical nature to it. Those who wanted it most seemed to never get. Those who had it acted aloof and unaware that there was even a popular group. It dominated the entire atmosphere of the school, what we did, what we thought about, who we considered below or above us. It was an unspoken system that everyone was aware of.

I like to think that I didn't care too deeply about popularity, but I'm sure that I did. I didn't have too many friends, as I had lost some to the chase of popularity. Long story short, my dad was/is a children's music songwriter and performer, and my childhood friends began smoking weed, so I was left out from then on in. I tried desperately to remain friends with them, so for a short time I ran with some kids I really shouldn't have. I was still incredibly timid, though, so I stayed out of any drug or alcohol usage. I was a pretty lame kid to have around.

My grades were great my first year, but soon my priorities shifted to everything else except hard work. I started putting more time into video games and began learning how to get by with minimum effort and attention. 7th and 8th grades were not very successful, so I started high school at a level I probably shouldn't have been in. They said studying mattered and I didn't listen. I guess they were right.

Looking back, though, it's hard to feel like I had a bad experience. That's probably because everyone had a shitty time in middle school. The hot, popular kids didn't have perfect lives. The 'loser' kids ended up going to amazing universities and have great careers ahead of them. We all made it out just fine.

Middle school matters so little, but everything that happens inside it is the most important and drastic thing that's ever happened. With hormones flying and sexualities budding we have no control over anything, including our voices. It really sucked, and I hope I stop having dreams about it, but it's important not to forget what happened when we were twelve. It was the end of our childhood, and the beginning of our adult lives. And, most importantly, the time most of us would like to never remember again. Maybe I should have put a trigger warning at the top.