Sports!

29. Sports!

I feel so excited to write about sports for some reason. I don't even like them. It's probably because, amongst all of this political drama and tension, sports are still kicking. Sports are one of the great consistencies in America, along with cancer awareness and alcoholism.

I played sports as a kid, just like most other boys. Baseball and Soccer were my two, and for a time I loved them both dearly. I loved the competition, but I think more than that I enjoyed the drama of it all. I liked how every game was it's own story, created naturally, without anyone knowing the outcome until it happens. It was cool feeling the tension of a close game, or the thrill of a comeback victory. For baseball, it was seeing one of my teammates get a go ahead RBI. In soccer, it was seeing a teammate score a goal as I watched from my firm place on the bench.

I started to fall off these sports in my adolescence. I didn't work hard enough. I learned that lesson through my failures as an athlete, along with many others. It taught me how to stay humble around those of lesser skill, and how to learn from the greats. It taught me teamwork, of course, but also leadership, both from the side of being a leader and from being lead. Sports are so incredibly important for a persons development. Ask any athlete, even those who stopped playing after high school, and they'll tell you that they wouldn't be the same person without their sport. I'm grateful for my time playing and how my family urged me to stick with it as long as I did.

With all these benefits, I forgot to mention how it's simply good for our health to go out and play.

But there's a point where it's no longer play, and that's the other aspect of sports that we love so much, we know that every successful athlete has a crazy amount of work into what they do. They've trained for countless hours, felt heartbreak time after time, and finally reached their goal of being a professional. We don't have this on our minds all the time, it's a predisposition we have at this point. But every once in awhile someone will say "Man, aren't these people incredible?" and you can't help but smile and nod.

They've worked so hard for their dream, so now they go out on the field for the noble cause of bringing pride and happiness to their fans. They go out and contribute to a story, and every day dozens of real life stories are created for millions of people. They inspire kids to follow their own dreams of being a professional athlete and to try their best at whatever they do. Also, it's entertaining as shit.

Sports are important to our relationships. It gives people ammunition for small talk, spirited debate, and others for their careers in commentary or analysis. It brings communities together to root for their team. Sometimes people having nothing in common more than their love for sports, and that alone can dominate conversation for hours on end. Without the distraction of sports, all we would talk about would be politics.

And maybe make some progress on that...

Wait, maybe that's not so bad. Do we ... actually... need sports?

Now I'm imagining a world without sports. It doesn't actually seem that bad. Kids would need something to do, so maybe they would be urged to take up an instrument or theatre or maybe even read. God forbid!

Now we have a world full of young artists, along with enlightened, truth seeking adults. Exercising is less fun, but Kan Jam is at an all time high. Beer sales are lower, people from New England are humble, and the Olympics are lame as shit. Cooperstown becomes a terrible place to live, and all of upstate NY suffers.

Without sports, would America suffer more from obesity or less? Honestly, it probably wouldn't make much of a difference. I don't remember the last time I saw an obese man make a jump shot. Sports aren't part of their day.

 Now, what if instead of sports never existing we just banned it today. Playing anything more legitimate than ping pong is punishable by death.

I know what people would say. "Really? With this obstructionist congress?" But it passed, and there's nothing we can do other than get used to this new life. And it would probably lead to greatness all over as Americans stop getting distracted over silly teams and scores and start remembering they have friends to talk to and kids to feed. All sports more legitimate than ping pong are banned, so of course that hobby starts picking up and we can begin to compete with china for best in the world. Also, Woman's basketball made the cut, so they begin a golden era that brings sexual equality for the rest of human existence. Good for them!



P.S

Word, I got some actual traction with an idea and didn't skimp out after my first premise. I got some actual comedy writing in this part too, which is an improvement from my other entries. Am I... improving as a writer?!?!

I need to go home and eat food though. Next time I'm gonna eat breakfast so I have the energy to write for the full hour. This probably wasn't good enough to be the first post that I share, but I think it might be one I go "if you want check out that one also" or something. I don't know. I'm done now



Words I learned to spell: Teammates, adolescence, existence.
First try: Obstructionist