Short Freestyle rap

You ever try to type a free style rap, I might like it but im trapped into the habits of slacking and joke cracking folks clapping is what I Imagine but its faster and tougher, less real than it feels, its close.

I hope im closing in but the world around me spins whenever I don't work hard skipping rocks seeing how far they go, give my friends the little bit of advice I know, just a tip, but they slowly get less inquisitive, its my business kid, to slip away from hindrances,

praying I can make it, fake it till I make it, I don't know what "it" is,  don't make the fakeness, the things I create stay amazing.


tell me where the brains is, keep the heat flowing aiming for fools to cool down before they be fainting, I wear my ammo like im preparing for a night heist damn, yo, I might stammer I might bite, ignore grammer cause the zeitgeist says so


Try as I might to spy the light in the sky, I see a star winkin and Im thinking its mine, with time shrinking, it stinks, percy pig is plump and pink, I shutter at the thought of tree huggers humping twigs. Call me aside when I go off topic, I wanna bone when Im alone watching game of thrones, or  chilling with my bop it, it, im hot cause I cope by rockin, dope since I copped these optics, My sister eloped to the tropics, didn't know her bro wanted to go, I told her but she forgot it, I do got more chances, im on a roll with my control over my finances,
My dance skills are advancing



No challenges I'm facing
Balances of crazy shit
Hoping to pass my class with aces
While still getting shit faced
Still on my ass, actin up the travesty
Of the evenings I'm wasting,
With the habits I'm embraced with


But Everytime I practice I go back to the rap its Free style



*EDIT*
This song nerds to get longer



Hey that was pretty good


Words I learned to spell: Hinderances

Back at it again

Went a while. Totally failed my goal of writing every day for a month. That's okay, though.


Writing a journal like this is important. I can't get my self to write when I want to jump into a project or stand up bit or anything similar. Setting the goal of just writing for the sake of it gets me to carry that momentum into actual material. This is my warm up, I guess.


Whenever I go a long time without writing, I write about writing. It's just my way of getting out the guilt I've had I suppose. It's on my mind, so that's what I write about.


It's important that I have the goal to write without any pressure to achieve quality. You could think of it as an Olympic sprinter going for a jog in the morning. He's not trying to break any records at 6 am. It's just to get his blood moving.


In the same vein, when he does try to break his PR, he jogs before. He loosens up before every sprint. I think that's what I need to do.


I also just need to write more. Compare it to my progression as a smash player, where I've made an effort to practice for ~2 hours every day over the last month. I've gotten better. Writing, though, has not been as consistent. If I put the same effort, energy, and focus into writing as I do into practicing smash then there's no way I wont eventually stumble into some success.


But being a creative is hard. When I sit down and stare at a TV doing drills over and over to improve my tech, there is a concrete task at hand. There are objective goals I can reach, and near obvious solutions to problems. I know what to do, and know what I'm doing wrong.


When I try to come up with a skit, sketch, scene, rap lyrics, etc. there's no way to gauge success. I rarely know what the next step is, or when I'm on the right track. Worse yet, I can't ever really tell if I'm getting better. Improvement as a comedian is scary stuff.


That makes it all the more important to keep working on projects, though. Write, perform, edit, perform, record, write, write, write. If I want to be a writer I need to fucking write. Ideas won't ever get me a job.


I ran out of time on celtx, too, which is a total bummer. I have to spend 10 bucks a month to stay with the service. I also need to call them in order to transfer my movie to my original account. It shouldn't be a huge problem, but it's definitely gonna be a pain in the ass.


Other than that burst of guilt about my days have been pretty good of late. My living situation is looking really good, I'm working enough hours to sustain my lifestyle of going to smash tournaments frequently, and I have been practicing.


Today I set up my calendar in Office 365 with my classes, work schedule, and some smash events. I feel like an adult


I'm at work right now,  and shit is getting pretty crazy, so I'm gonna wrap this up. I hope I come back to this soon.


Words I learned to spell: Gauge, calendar

Where do I go from here?

My initial momentum is gone. Which is alright, I'm always like this.

I had a good week going of constant practice, writing, exercising, and low money spending. I think I did, at least. All I know now is that I'm not writing as much or putting in the 2 hours of melee that I said I would. I almost always have this sort of circadian rhythm of creativity followed by lack of motivation, but this time it hasn't affected me as much. All I can do is keep coming back to the blog, keep practicing as much as I can, and try not to spiral into complete apathy like I've done in the past.

I didn't have a completely terrible day yesterday, though. I recorded a rap song I made for the first time with my buddy George. It was a lot of fun, and I'm proud of the work we put into it. After it was all done, we posted it to Facebook and Reddit with lukewarm feedback. It didn't exactly go viral, but it's a start. I'm definitely not done making music like that, it's just too fun.

Now, though, I think the satisfaction of completing a project is making me lack motivation in other aspects. I'm in a state of reflection, and whenever I reflect on something I did I'm not working on the next piece. At the same time, I need to make sure that I'm always improving, so I need to understand what made a project successful or not. I enjoy sitting back after finishing something, and that satisfaction will drive me to keep on working on new stuff, but it also distracts me. It's a weird limbo that I feel will persist as long as I'm trying to be a creative.

It's also cool to have other projects to work on. It's a cool balance to have three things going on, a short term project like the one I just made, as well as two longer projects. I should be using the momentum of a completed work to drive the other projects I have going on. This is also a good time to think of what's coming up and how to prepare for it. I also have a class coming up that will require me to write a movie script throughout the year, so I think I need to finish one of my longer projects before that comes up.

In regards to short term projects, I think something I can perform is needed. I have a couple of options, a poem, a skit, a well-polished stand up bit. My problem with stand up is that I come up with a million ideas, then struggle to develop them. I'll perform them once or twice then lose faith and start writing more stuff. Maybe I need to start thinking of a bit more like a skit, for those in comedy that makes sense. A bit refers more to stand up, maybe a 1-2 minute chunk of comedy around the same premise. A skit is though of a scripted scene, like a micro-play. It can have more than one actor, in fact it usually does. A skit will be rehearsed with every line memorized and performed the same way every time. I need to make my stand up more like a skit.

Stand up is scary too. Super scary. I usually am fine with not doing well, but I just want a bit to do really well and the last time I performed it all fell flat. I think that if I am stationed in the city then I'll go out and perform more regularly, after all stand up is the best way to improve as a comedian. For now though, I want to keep writing, and it doesn't need to be one person comedy that I'm after.

YouTube seems to create a lot of comedians, but I think the quality there is terrible. Their audience is younger, from ages 10-16. YouTubers are loud, fast talking content creators. Their whole business is about pumping out content as fast as possible. It's a great website to put out content, but I think that I want to write and improve my craft, not try to appeal to a wide audience.

A podcast could be cool, too, but that is definitely an investment. Maybe in the future when I have a lot of connections to funny people I can start a podcast for funsies and see where it goes. For now, there's no way I would stick with it, let alone make something good.

LAUGH club has some opportunities coming up that will definitely put a fire under my ass. We, if all goes well, will be involved in three decently sized shows this semester. That's the perfect opportunity to come up with 15 minutes of personal material, as well as writing skits and performing plenty of improv. It's like my last year of school is training me to go out and try to get a writing job. I used to be anxious about school starting, but I'm realizing now how well I set up this year and how well off I can be by the end of it.

Ahhh, It's good to write in this again. I'm ok with failing my goal of writing every day for a month, maybe I'll try it again during the year. For now, I'm gonna try to put some more work into this rick and morty episode that needs to be finished already.

Till next timeeeee

The streak is broken

I fucked it up!

I'm honestly not too upset about it. I had the goal of writing every day for 30 days and it sort of fell flat. But I'm back now, and that's the most important thing. I fell, but I got back up. Good for me.

I also had things to do that threw me off my routine. I went to Long Island after my Monday post to play smash bros with some of the best players there. I stayed overnight, then came home on Tuesday around 7. As soon as I got home my girlfriend arrived, and we spent that night and the next day together. It was a good couple of days for sure.

I also spent time with one of my good friends Taylor. He was my buddy and director in college and graduated last year, so while I was in the island I made sure to visit him and grab a bite and some coffee. He's one of those people I feel I can talk about anything with; art, love, exercising, grief, hobbies. He's one of my best friends, and I hope we keep in touch after I graduate. 

Then, after she left yesterday morning, I slept in until 11 and awoke to a text from my dad asking to get lunch and a movie. Of course I agreed. That took up most of the day, then when I got home I thought I had work until 4. Then I didn't write anything more than a small rap that I posted in my friend's group chat. It was pretty good, though, so at least I wrote something.

If anything, this cements the fact that I need to write in the mornings, after a solid ritual. I finished my smash rap while on the toilet this morning, right after my morning coffee. I could add more, and I think I will, but I could also just record it now and be somewhat proud of it. Writing raps is really fun.

Today, I want to keep the blog post short so I can work on my Rick and Morty spec and get that finished before the summer is over. I wanna be able to show that to people in hopes of landing a job, because I know a lot of people like that show and it could appeal to them more than an original script. Although I should probably work on an original script as well...

Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow! Sometimes the only thing that brings me back to this library is the Pokemon Go progress I make. 

I might be a morning person...

Didn't really need to draw the lottery for this one. After writing about night writing last night (lol) I got up early this morning and had an easier time writing a rap song I've been working on. That was before my cup of coffee, too. I might just be a morning person.

I'm just coming into my twenties, and I never would have expected to be a morning person. I'd assume about 3% of teenagers like waking up before 10am, and I'm barely not a teenager. In previous summers I would wake up early for my job as a counselor, but I hated it. I didn't get to wake up at my leisure, write or read in the morning with a cup of coffee like I do now. I woke up early and worked all day, so when the weekend came I slept until 12 or 1 pm. Then, in the last weeks of summer where my job was over, I would take advantage of sleeping in so that 11am was early for me.

That sounds amazing to a lot of people, but I started to notice the effect of skipping mornings about a year ago. When I wake up after sleeping for ten hours I'm groggy, somehow more tired even after getting more sleep. I would have no creative desire, no ambition to work out or practice smash bros, and would just lounge out. Sometimes I wouldn't even have the energy to eat food until it became dinner time and my mom would make me food. Honestly, it was pretty pathetic.

I think last Summer was the one that kicked that habit out of me. I worked two jobs and kept myself much more active. I would be forced to wake up early during the week then worked until night time on most days. Then, when the weekend came, I would wake up around 10 and start my day. I started drinking coffee, which is the best thing ever invented, and worked out a bit more frequently. I wrote a bit more, and most of the time that was in the morning. Writing at night was tough.

This summer has been great for my mornings. I think I've slept in passed noon once or twice, and I blame that on alcohol. Writing this blog has been a great motivator to take walks in the morning and get myself up early enough that it's not scorching hot when I do. My mind feels more free in the morning and getting myself started on writing is so much easier. I hope I keep this habit going for the rest of my life.

I think Jerry Seinfeld said once that he writes in the morning every day for at least twenty minutes. Before his morning coffee, before everything else, he writes his thoughts into a legal pad he keeps close to his bed. Maybe I should try that too, but what I have going now seems to be going just great. Most days, after I write my blog post, I move onto a different project I've been working on.

And just for shits and giggles, I'll just say what those are. Just in case I look back and get enjoyment out of remembering these, or feel like a total fuckface for not finishing them.

I'm working on a Spec (episode of a preexisting show) for The Adventures of Rick and Morty. When it's done I'm gonna send it to the creators, but mostly I'm just doing it because it's fun and I want to have a T.V episode under my belt for when I start applying for writing jobs.

I'm also working on two rap songs. The most recent is aimed toward people in the smash community who have been making these lame ass diss tracks all the time. I think mine is better.

Also, I have a bunch of one liners that I'm hoping to put into a song because they aren't funny enough to perform in stand up. Maybe if I get enough of them together then the song will be funny. Maybe not, but I want to make more comedy rap songs in the future and this might be a good start.

So that's me, but nobody reads these so I don't need to start sentences with "so that's me." I'm actually happy that nobody reads these posts, it takes a lot of pressure off of writing. I use this more as a personal growth experiment anyway. Also, these writings are boring and mostly just stream of consciousness. I think I'm done now.


Words I learned to spell: Leisure, consciousness

Sunday Laziness

Do I get to take Sundays off?

I can't get to a computer! That's my excuse!

But I need to write something, and whenever I feel like I have trouble writing, I write about writing.

I wrote a rap today. Or a least a little of it. It's a diss rap towards famous melee players making terrible diss raps and putting them out. People eat them up but they're not good at all. I was motivated to let them know how disappointed I am in them. Once it's finished I'll publish the lyrics.

I also played a bunch of Smash Bros today. I feel pretty good about working to get better. Tomorrow I'm going to long Island just to play against everyone who lives there. I'm excited for that.

Other than that, I'm just happy I'm making myself write every day. I don't know what it is but I feel looser. It might also be the walk, or the fact that I have like zero stress from any source, but lately I've been chillin'. Everything that's going on is pretty dope.

But as I write this it's pretty late, and I don't  have much else to say. I will note, though, that writing at night is much harder than the morning. If I miss my chance when I wake up, I gotta wait till the next day. Not the worse thing in the world, but I would like to be able to be creative at any point. Maybe that will Just come in time.