Where do I go from here?

My initial momentum is gone. Which is alright, I'm always like this.

I had a good week going of constant practice, writing, exercising, and low money spending. I think I did, at least. All I know now is that I'm not writing as much or putting in the 2 hours of melee that I said I would. I almost always have this sort of circadian rhythm of creativity followed by lack of motivation, but this time it hasn't affected me as much. All I can do is keep coming back to the blog, keep practicing as much as I can, and try not to spiral into complete apathy like I've done in the past.

I didn't have a completely terrible day yesterday, though. I recorded a rap song I made for the first time with my buddy George. It was a lot of fun, and I'm proud of the work we put into it. After it was all done, we posted it to Facebook and Reddit with lukewarm feedback. It didn't exactly go viral, but it's a start. I'm definitely not done making music like that, it's just too fun.

Now, though, I think the satisfaction of completing a project is making me lack motivation in other aspects. I'm in a state of reflection, and whenever I reflect on something I did I'm not working on the next piece. At the same time, I need to make sure that I'm always improving, so I need to understand what made a project successful or not. I enjoy sitting back after finishing something, and that satisfaction will drive me to keep on working on new stuff, but it also distracts me. It's a weird limbo that I feel will persist as long as I'm trying to be a creative.

It's also cool to have other projects to work on. It's a cool balance to have three things going on, a short term project like the one I just made, as well as two longer projects. I should be using the momentum of a completed work to drive the other projects I have going on. This is also a good time to think of what's coming up and how to prepare for it. I also have a class coming up that will require me to write a movie script throughout the year, so I think I need to finish one of my longer projects before that comes up.

In regards to short term projects, I think something I can perform is needed. I have a couple of options, a poem, a skit, a well-polished stand up bit. My problem with stand up is that I come up with a million ideas, then struggle to develop them. I'll perform them once or twice then lose faith and start writing more stuff. Maybe I need to start thinking of a bit more like a skit, for those in comedy that makes sense. A bit refers more to stand up, maybe a 1-2 minute chunk of comedy around the same premise. A skit is though of a scripted scene, like a micro-play. It can have more than one actor, in fact it usually does. A skit will be rehearsed with every line memorized and performed the same way every time. I need to make my stand up more like a skit.

Stand up is scary too. Super scary. I usually am fine with not doing well, but I just want a bit to do really well and the last time I performed it all fell flat. I think that if I am stationed in the city then I'll go out and perform more regularly, after all stand up is the best way to improve as a comedian. For now though, I want to keep writing, and it doesn't need to be one person comedy that I'm after.

YouTube seems to create a lot of comedians, but I think the quality there is terrible. Their audience is younger, from ages 10-16. YouTubers are loud, fast talking content creators. Their whole business is about pumping out content as fast as possible. It's a great website to put out content, but I think that I want to write and improve my craft, not try to appeal to a wide audience.

A podcast could be cool, too, but that is definitely an investment. Maybe in the future when I have a lot of connections to funny people I can start a podcast for funsies and see where it goes. For now, there's no way I would stick with it, let alone make something good.

LAUGH club has some opportunities coming up that will definitely put a fire under my ass. We, if all goes well, will be involved in three decently sized shows this semester. That's the perfect opportunity to come up with 15 minutes of personal material, as well as writing skits and performing plenty of improv. It's like my last year of school is training me to go out and try to get a writing job. I used to be anxious about school starting, but I'm realizing now how well I set up this year and how well off I can be by the end of it.

Ahhh, It's good to write in this again. I'm ok with failing my goal of writing every day for a month, maybe I'll try it again during the year. For now, I'm gonna try to put some more work into this rick and morty episode that needs to be finished already.

Till next timeeeee