I'm settled but also totally not

I only have about 25 minutes for this one. Usually I'd give it up, but for some reason I feel it's important to document where I'm at.

Yesterday I was unbridled, taking on the day like an ocean wave. It roughed me up, but I stood my ground, and battered and bruised I was able to sleep at night like a baby. That metaphor didn't really hold up, did it?

attempt #2

Yesterday I had a headache, but I still did some shit. The couch didn't come. I did grocery shopping online. I tried streaming until I realized that my cheap internet wouldn't cut it. The writing I did was what I was most proud of.

So, alright. A day off didn't go so bad. Now it's time for a day..on? A day where I actually work. This is the real meat and potatoes.

Limitations can be good for creativity. Not sure where I read that, but I did, and I believe it whole hardheartedly. The only reliable and consistent way for me to stay creative is to write every day, rain or shine, unexpected holiday or not. I've discovered this before, this isn't some big epiphany, but now that I have my own place, can put my computer and my games and all my shit exactly where I want, where I can cook at 11:30pm if I so choose, where I can look up from my screen and see real daylight, this is when I can get into a rhythm. I feel it sneaking up, and now that I'm making an effort to put in my 25 minutes because I know it's better than 0 I feel okay.

Again I'm onto this centrifuge blogging style. Always happens, every time. I'll find a way out I'm sure, it just takes a few times. I just need to lock onto a subject and I'll be good.

Oh, okay, I'll talk about my new hobby. There's no real name for it, but it's finding free stuff on craigslist and selling it on Facebook Marketplace. I'll call it Craigsbook Faceplacing. Or Facelisting. Craig's Market? I'll settle on one later.

Anyway, It's a Gary Vaynerchuck thing through and through. I've mentioned him before (I really like the guy) and he keeps talking about the money that can be made by just picking up the free shit all over craigslist and selling it. Simple as that. With this new apartment I have the room, and with the new rent to pay I have the ambition. I picked up my first box of stuff yesterday, and am about to make a sale on a painting that I literally found next to my trashcan. Someone's gonna buy it for $30. Thirty bucks! Literal garbage is about to pay my lunch for the week. You can't tell me that's not pretty cool.

And just like that, I'm hooked. At least for a bit, who knows if I'll get discouraged or waste my time or get mugged. The world is crazy like that, but as a six foot tall guy I think I'll come out alright. And with a few extra dollars in my pocket I can afford to go my favorite weekend events in the world, Melee majors. I can't imagine a more fulfilling experience than hustling on the side to pursue a passion. Here's to hoping it goes well.

Ten more minutes. I can't talk about FaceCraiging (Frontrunner?) anymore since I've done it for 3 days.

I think right now is a very important time in my life. My Father would call it a "Defining Moment," My mom would call it "Growing a pair of balls." Whatever you wanna call it, (Defining Balls?) It's a rare opportunity to really shift gears on how I live my life. It's clear that this momentum will go away, complacency will set it, and every time I put my head in the clouds I'm wasting time with what's in front of me.

 This happened in college, both freshman year and Junior year, where I put everything I had into my first semester and let it slip in the second. It's a typical story, but I've gone through it twice already and I know how it ends up.

Freshman year, my big mistake was ego. After getting good grades my first semester, I let myself believe that I would be successful no matter what, ignoring the hard work that I legitimately put in. Second semester, I got a 2.1. A two point one!!!!

Junior year, my first semester living off campus, Is when I started my White board of National notoriety. I kept it up for months, balancing my complicated life well, and made the mistake of getting a big ego again. I ran for president of my Frat, lost, then ran for Vice-President and won. Sounds like a victory, but I was overbooked as it was, and ended up coming short of my responsibilites and personal goals in the position. That's for another time, and it's still weirdly kind of raw, but I do think it was a huge mistake.

I can say here that I learned a lot from these errors, but I won't know if I really learned unless I make changes. I need to keep these lessons in my head for as long as possible, not to weigh myself down with regret but to scare myself away from my ill-guided tendencies. This moment of high-spirits can falter, but it doesn't need to. I can have my first semester over and over again. Winter will probably still be shitty, though. That's for later.

Ok, three minutes. I forgot to brush my teeth so I'll do that instead.

Thanks for reading.